Personal family stress enabled complacency to seep into my new found sobriety. I yielded, and joined my wife in an evening beverage. What harm could it do, given I no longer considered alcohol to be a pleasure or a stress relief?
Not surpassingly, the next day I felt sub-standard, and the monster in my mind suggested a cure.
It has probably been a week now, and I’m drinking daily just to feel normal. This is insane.
Motivation to progress even fun projects has waned. Ability to bring all my faculties to bear on life’s present challenges is severely curtailed. It is school holidays and, working from home, I’m struggling.
The last couple of months, when I believed I had conquered my addiction was an enlightenment to me. Now there is a hard truth to confront, that I have to accept this addiction will try and snatch me back at any moment.
I was thrilled not to be craving, or missing drinking. I thought I would never be tempted, as I had seen grog for what it actually is.
I now see that I can reassert in my mind that headspace, but must forever beware that alcoholism will grab me if I give it half a chance.
And this is why I will never drink again, again.